… well, it is what you say … and how you say it … and who says it. Words matter but to what extent? Okay, we got one fan listening.
On this post, Lon and I show how he’ll put some words under a microscope to carefully arrange them for maximum impact. This post can also be titled “A Letter from Lon.” Sound sweet? Read on.
Echoes and use of profanity in our latest chapter.
We have an echo. One line reads “Where the hell is Arturo?” A few lines down we have a very similar line “Arturo, where the hell are you?” Both lines are thoughts from Angel, but when he thinks the second thought he is much more panicked and desperate. So I suggest that we change the second “hell” to “f*ck”. This way he thinks “Arturo, where the f*ck are you?”
So it works. We keep the first “hell” as “hell” and change the second “hell” to “f*ck”. The only problem is that now it snowballs into another echo of having too many “f*cks, because a few lines after the new “f*ck” that we just put it, we already have an old “f*ck” where Angel says “What the f*ck are you thinking?”
I suggest that we change the second “f*ck” to “hell” so that line will now read “What the hell are you thinking?”
So instead of having an echo with “hell” “hell” “f*ck” we replace the second “hell” with “f*ck” – fixing that echo. That will give us “hell” “f*ck” “f*ck”. But, that’s too much profanity, too close together.
So again, we get rid of the second echo of “f*ck” f*ck” by replacing the second “f*ck” with “hell” and that will finally give us “hell” “f*ck” “hell”.
If we make these changes, it will solve our echo issues and also keep the use of profanity down to a minimal in this chapter.
What the f*ck do you think?
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